


I wish we'd met before they convinced you life was war

by UntamedChaos



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/M, I'm a sucker for a happy ending - Freeform, J.D deserved better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-01 06:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17861669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UntamedChaos/pseuds/UntamedChaos
Summary: Veronica didn't realise it now, but she needed tokillHeather Chandler. The Demon Queen wouldn't simply back down because of a cup of juice, and certainly not one that made her sick. But if she went away, there would be no more threat or fear. All Heather Chandler had to offer was snarky remarks and degradation, the world would be better without her.Yet as Veronica took the cup, she seemed to suspect something. She lifted the lid and checked inside, gasping as she saw the cerulean pond of fatality within."Were you going to kill her?" she asked in a hushed whisper, eyes darting to him as they filled with concern. He'd just discovered something good about the corrupt society they lived in, and couldn't lose her so soon."No, of course not," he lied smoothly, setting the cup back down on the counter, "I poured some before you told me not to, must've picked up the wrong cup." Whether she believed him or not was debatable, but his lies were easier to swallow than the reality of what lay in that drink."Alright, good." Veronica returned to the island and brought her own mixture into her hands, passing it to him. "Let's go."





	1. Dear Diary

**Author's Note:**

> The story is told in diary entries at first, then it moves into a novel format as it progresses. I've focused on the main J.D parts and cut out the additional Heathering. 
> 
> It's based on the musical more than the film, so J.D is very emotionally invested in Veronica, though I've still referenced the film in certain areas. ^^

### Chapter One

September 1st, 1989

Dear Diary,

Today, I met a boy called Jason Dean. At first, he was just a no-name kid who I thought would get beaten to a pulp when he stepped in, but he lasted until the end. He fought for me when Kurt and Ram were being dicks, which may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but nobody's done that before. I suppose that shouldn't be the top of my priorities though, since I'm officially a Heather!

Well, almost. Heather Chandler talks down to me still, but she does that to Heather McNamara too, so I think it's just her thing. I may be a while away from meeting her standards, but at least people respect me now! Or... fear me, but they leave me alone and that's the main point. I'm still in shock that J.D took a beating for me though, he claims to be numb but I don't believe it one bit. Someone who willingly puts themselves in the firing line to save someone else cannot possibly be dead inside.

To save... me.

 

September 2nd, 1989

Dear Diary,

Heather Chandler has decided that I've fallen out of favour. She's going to set her clique on me Monday 8AM, and I doubt I'll survive that. I could run away from home, leave the country, or... I could go and jump the new kid's bones. He's beautiful, just what I need to forget all this insanity. Yes, that's what I'll do tonight. He may be the only good thing about Westerburg, and though you can't have too much of a good thing, I'm certainly going to try.

 

September 3rd, 1989

Dear Diary,

I spent the night with J.D and the world went away. As I wished, the whole town disappeared. He's so mischievous, talking of spiking Heather Chandler's drink to make her suffer for what she's planning to put me through, bringing it to her as a 'peace offering' only to see her face when she realises we've tricked her into drinking something horrible.

_"Shhh," J.D giggled as he held up a bottle of Hull Clean with one hand, pressing a finger to his lips with the other. "If you really want to make her pay, orange juice isn't going to cut it. I'm more of a no-rust build up man myself." He quirked a brow as Veronica looked over, shaking her head gently._

_"That'd kill her," she responded softly. "Orange juice and milk, that'd be nauseating, right?" As she mixed the two, her attention was diverted. J.D began to carefully pour the blue fluid into a ceramic cup and put the lid on before she could see inside._

_Veronica didn't realise it now, but she needed to **kill** Heather Chandler. The Demon Queen wouldn't simply back down because of a cup of juice, and certainly not one that made her sick. But if she went away, there would be no more threat or fear. All Heather Chandler had to offer was snarky remarks and degradation, the world would be better without her._

_Yet as Veronica took the cup, she seemed to suspect something. She lifted the lid and checked inside, gasping as she saw the cerulean pond of fatality within._

_"Were you going to kill her?" she asked in a hushed whisper, eyes darting to him as they filled with concern. He'd just discovered something good about the corrupt society they lived in, and couldn't lose her so soon._

_"No, of course not," he lied smoothly, setting the cup back down on the counter, "I poured some before you told me not to, must've picked up the wrong cup." Whether she believed him or not was debatable, but his lies were easier to swallow than the reality of what lay in that drink._

_"Alright, good." Veronica returned to the island and brought her own mixture into her hands, passing it to him. "Let's go."_

 

September 4th, 1989

Dear Diary,

Heather Chandler was too sick to come to school today, but she came anyway and made a HUGE show of herself. There was a look of venom in her eyes as she shouted for everyone's attention, clearly aiming to name and shame us as she picked J.D and I out of the crowd and began to glare accusingly at us while she spoke. But before she could get further than our names, she jolted like someone had pulled the stick from her ass, and coated the floor in vomit. It wasn't concern that washed across the students of Westerburg High, it was amusement and disgust. Within the hour, she became a total laughing stock. The Demon Queen had ejected all her power onto the floor of the gym, and nobody was letting her pick up that soggy crown. It got so bad in the end that she gave up and went home. J.D reckons she'll kill herself, but I doubt she's that kind of person. It may have been humiliating, but surely her loss of control isn't _that_ dire that she'd lose the will to live.

Right?

 

Well, I'm returning to this entry.

J.D insisted we stalk HC after school to see where she went, providing only the reason of finding her suffering entertaining, as justification. Heather went down to the lake after being disgraced. A group of freshman often gather there to look for newts and fish, I used to go there as a kid too. They look adorable, wearing little glasses and lab coats as they pretend to be scientists discovering something new and fantastic. I envy their innocence, we were like that once and the world wasn't so cruel. But I digress. Seems HC liked freshman as much as Ram, she went down there to scare them away, push them around a bit - typical mythic bitch behaviour. But little kids are fast, and as she tried to knock one into the water, they skittered away like a shoal of fish and she fell face first in the lake instead. Despite all she'd done, we still rushed over to help, but she was gone by the time we got there. J.D didn't seem too bothered, but he didn't really know her like I did.

_"Holy shit. I just watched the death of my best friend," Veronica gasped as she stared at the glistening surface, which offered only her startled reflection in response._

_"And your worst enemy," J.D shrugged lightly._

_"Same thing," she murmured, wondering why he wasn't freaking out like her._

_Far from freaking out, he had a darker idea in mind. "Hey, why don't we plant a suicide note so it'll look like she did this on purpose? She deserved everything she got, right? But if people put two and two together and link our prank on her to what we've witnessed, they could start accusing us of murder."_

_Almost as though he'd planned the moment, he produced a pen and notepad from his bag and passed it to Veronica._

_"Think. Long and hard. Conjure her up in your mind. What would she say? What is her final statement to a cold, uncaring planet?"_

__So that was how we faked Heather Chandler's suicide. Tomorrow, school will find out that she's dead and there's one less Heather to dictate the rules to them. J.D and I went for slushies afterwards, he told me how he'd seen Kurt and Ram bullying some scared kid, and that the world would be better if assholes like that weren't in it._ _

__I can't say I disagree._ _


	2. Hunting jocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J.D once more tries to rid Veronica of the awful people in her life by using 'Ich lüge' bullets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I convinced my parents to watch Heathers with me and they loved it.  
> Colour me stoked, I'm super hyped to write this chapter!  
> Thank you to Mae (mae1505) for the lovely comment and itscoldindecember for the kudos!

###  Chapter Two 

September 5th, 1989

Dear Diary,

The remaining Heathers are just as bad as Heather Chandler was. If you cut off the head, the body is supposed to die, right? Not coerce you into 'double dating' with the assholes from the football team that don't care who they screw over as long as they can brag about it the next day. There's only so much that fighting back and saying no will do when there's two of them, and Kurt and Ram are pretty damn strong. But once again, J.D came to my rescue. He's like a knight in leather armour, his billowing coat a black flag of justice. 

He continues to fight for me.

Upon arrival, he pulled me away from that awful scene, with the Heathers cackling like witches and Kurt and Ram protesting that they didn't succeed in getting their rocks off. We got as far as his car before I broke down in tears. He stared at me in horror, as though seeing me cry was the most heartrending thing he'd witnessed, then brought me into his arms and held me so tightly that all my fractured pieces fit snugly back together. It was like something from a film, he wiped my tears away as he softly stroked my cheek, and promised that nobody would ever hurt me again.

_"I thought that I was finally... okay, you know? I didn't even want to be popular, I just wanted them to be nice to me or leave me alone," Veronica sniffled softly as she buried into J.D's chest and nuzzled at the damp fabric. He had his own unique scent, smokey and woody with undertones of dew. Like walking through a sunlit forest then laying in a field of glistening grass, just watching the world go by. It was comforting to her, she never wanted to let go. "Forget about them," he responded quietly, idly running his fingers through her russet locks. "You're all I need, and our love is God. We'll make them disappear, and build our own world, a better world."_

A better world, one without the Heathers.  
Without asshole jocks and defined social groups that brand their members with inescapable labels. 

That's what we dream of, a place where we can just do the things that people our age do. 

But for now, all we can do is even the field. So J.D and I are going to lure Kurt and Ram to the woods and trick them into looking like complete idiots. I'll make the call now, then he'll outline the details.

_As Veronica hung up the phone, she giggled softly and tossed a pillow at J.D. He'd been trying not to laugh during the call, and utterly failing. Hearing her sound so naughty was something which really tickled him, reminded him of the way she'd pounced a few nights ago. He proudly displayed his collection of 'gay' articles to frame the two as rainbow children, and then retrieved his gun and began to load it up. As she saw the bullets, something tugged in her mind, a thread of doubt. "Are those real?" she asked with apprehension, picking one up and inspecting it. "Yeah," he responded with a grin, "but they're Ich lüge bullets."_

_He began to roll off a line of spiel about suicides and how his grandfather scored them in the war, but Veronica lifted a hand to stop him. "It's too much of a risk. What if it actually kills them?" She received a look of disappointment to her query, but her own stern gaze made him falter. "Okay, okay. We'll use blanks." He tipped the gun and poured out the freshly loaded bullets, setting blanks inside instead. "Happy?" he asked, raising a brow. She nodded in satisfaction and picked up the gun. Sighing quietly, he offered his hand. "Alright, let's go mix up a sedative then. Goodness knows how we're going to get them to take it, but we need them to be flat out when the cops arrive. Oh, and we'll need something that looks like blood. We're still going with the suicide plan, right? It's not like blanks alone will work twice."_

Who knew suicide was so complex? 

Every element of the plan would combine into one if we used the Ich lüge bullets, it'd be real blood, the tranquilisers are built in. J.D says that all they do is break the skin, and he's a bit chaotic at times but no killer. Maybe he's right, we're better with the first option. 

_"Alright, we'll use the bullets. But what if it actually kills them?" Veronica reached out to him, concern in her eyes. "I don't want to actually kill anyone, that's not our choice to make." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "You're reading too much into this, but I can tell it's upsetting you, so let's just scare them again. We'll go ahead with the plan but I'll shoot the ground instead, or a tree or something. I have a good aim, I used to shoot tins from the fence, so you know I won't shoot them by accident."_

So we're headed to the woods to scare Kurt and Ram. J.D plans to shoot something to prove the gun is real, and when they run, we'll make our getaway. Even if nobody at school finds out, we'll know we made them wet themselves twice. He insists on taking the suicide note, though it's redundant with this plan. Nobody's ever been with me to get back at these people before, I generally just suffer their bullshit and move on. 

It feels nice to have some power for once.

_"On the count of three," Veronica teased, riling up the two jocks she'd commanded to strip before they could rip her clothes off. The plan was to get them down to their underwear and then scare them, so J.D was hiding nearby with his gun ready. "One," she counted, the boys joining in. "Two," they giggled, eyes fixed on their target._

_"Three." J.D stepped out from behind a tree and fired a shot at the floor. "Holy shit!" Ram and Kurt took off, sprinting in different directions. "Stay here," he ordered, already racing after the two, "I'll get them." He chased Ram all the way to a tall steel fence, growling under his breath as the petrified jock tried to climb it. "Get off the fence," he snarled. "Get off the damn fence."_

_It turns out that Ram **did** get off the fence, though not by choice. As he glanced back to see if J.D was still on the attack, he overbalanced and fell from the railing. A sickening crack informed his assailant that the quarterback had broken his neck upon colliding with the ground, killing him instantly. Veronica soon came up behind, staring in horror at the dead jock. She was alone, the dark horse had already begun pursuing Kurt. _

_The shouts of 'Leave me alone!' and 'You killed my best friend! Why are you chasing me?!' could be heard as Kurt tore up the ground beneath his feet to try and escape the merciless hunter. They fell on deaf ears for Veronica, who was in shock as every fibre of the image burned into her mind. She looked up in traumatised confusion, wondering why J.D was still relentlessly snapping at Kurt's heels when the prank had clearly gone catastrophically wrong. As she focused on him again, she saw a tangled root catch the jock's foot and topple him, causing everything to run in slow motion as his head smashed into the trunk of a large tree and crimson ran down the bole._

_Bile rose in her throat, vision blurring as a shadow crept into it. J.D had returned to her, pulling her into a tight embrace while he held the sobbing girl. "Our love is God," he whispered soothingly, nestling his face into her hair. "I know this isn't what you intended, but football season is over. All they had to offer was date rapes and aids jokes." He pulled the suicide note from his pocket and laid it beside Ram's corpse, drawing the various items they'd previously selected, from his bag. "This isn't your fault," he murmured, setting them around the soon-to-be crime scene, "we can still pass it off as a suicide, they're stupid enough to have killed themselves in the ways they died. C'mon, Veronica. They had it coming, right?"_

_A manic look had formed in his eyes, one that warned with unspoken words that disagreeing would be a bad idea. They hadn't gone out with any intention to kill, it was an accident. It could've happened without them even being there, they weren't responsible. The only thing that caused her to doubt the coincidental value of their body count, was the fact he seemed so unbothered by the demises of the victims._

_"Our love is God, right?" He tilted her head up and pulled her into a tender kiss. Veronica had no other choice, his love was too good to lose and it was all she had to cope in these insane times. "Our love is God," she whispered back, snuggling into his arms._

People keep dying around us, and though I can't pinpoint any solid evidence that leads to J.D being involved, I feel like he's the one initiating it. Heather Chandler threatened to destroy me and she's swimming with the fishes, Kurt and Ram tried to force me into something I didn't want, and now they're six feet under too. Maybe if he showed a little emotion, if he seemed as mortified as I do for the bodies we've indirectly built up, but there's nothing. 

Nothing except... love for me.

We have to stop trying to get our own back on the people that hurt us, it seems like karma is listening and reading our will with twisted words. I can't believe this is my life now, three people have died and I truly feel like it's my fault. I'm going to talk to J.D, explain that we have each other now, there's no point in exacting revenge on those who drive us underground because together we're stronger than them. 

I wonder if we even still have the right to act our age and do the things that we're supposed to...

But can we be seventeen?


	3. We're not special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J.D reaches out to Veronica, but she's losing herself.

### Chapter Three

"What's on your mind, darling?" J.D's fingers idly traced the passionate bites and blossoming bruises he'd formed on Veronica's neck, occasionally tilting his finger to run his nail down the apex of her shoulder. The sheets were tangled around them, lingering scents of heated arousal and tangible fear soaked into the air. She wasn't really listening, her mind raking over the bare remains of her deceased classmates, whitened sticks in a valley of blood, crimson lapping at the marrow until only sable residue remained, drenched in darkness.

_His voice sounded distant, they'd never been this close and yet a chasm lay between them. On one side, he stood wrapped in black, easily balanced on the precipice of a tall ashen cliff. For once, she could see right through him. The gun that resided in his pocket with two bloodstained bullets nestled inside, the eerily glistening cup of azure liquid which tilted to spill a drop every so often, carmine overtaking the usual hue as it descended into the abyss, and now a knife rested near his heart. As she watched, the blade began to drip with tar-like fluid, the shadow soon ensnaring his form until only fierce ruby eyes remained, burning sharply into her own. On the other side, she cuddled into silken light as it draped around her shoulders and tethered her to the miniscule platform she'd been offered as a way of staying aloft. Though the stare they shared remained unbroken, a hint of urgency seemed to develop and he sent an inky tendril across the void to try and reach her. "Veronicaaaa~" it seemed to whisper, lashing at her heels while it tried to find a place to latch. "Veronicaaaaa~"_

"Veronica?" J.D's voice snapped her out of her reverie, he was looking at her with concern in those soft velvet eyes. "What's wrong?" She'd tried to talk to him, tried to explain that what they were doing seemed immoral to her, but he'd simply pulled her in and melted her mind with sweet kisses and tender words. Now, as the world came back in focus, another attempt was made. "I don't want my life to be like this," she stated firmly, threading her fingers with his own, "I want to do the things that people our age do. Eat junk food, see bad movies and-" He cut her off with a tender smile, "Attend the prom, maybe dance?" The way he spoke was longing, as though the tendril now offered an open palm of pure skin and gentle warmth. Veronica nodded gently, her eyes shining like stars on a moonlit lake. "Don't you want a life with me?"

As she spoke, he slipped out of bed and blushed lightly at seeing her slender frame outlined by sunlight. A billowy nightgown was worn to prevent any unexpected visitors gleaning a hint of the heated moments they shared, though her curves shaped the material to perfectly contour her body. The boy's hand was extended to Veronica, his own attire consisting of a long black shirt with some kind of motto printed across it in grey, and their worlds connected once more.

_He stepped back, pulling her lovingly against his chest, the room fading away as bright lights surrounded the two and bathed them in a soothing glow. Every step sent a vibe of light shooting through the polished floor, a rhythmic swaying moving both hearts in tandem as music played and they danced until all that remained was he and her, souls intertwined, pure and corrupted became one. As Veronica looked up, all she could see was the unadulterated delight in J'D's eyes, no hint of malice remained in the russet hues._

__

For once, he looked truly at peace.

Even so, as their dance ended and the bedroom surrounded them once more, Veronica looked deeper into the sepia hues for a hint of humanity. "If I am what you choose?" she asked hopefully, her heart soaring as he responded with a lilt in his voice, "You're the one I choose."

There were no promises that he'd stop wishing Veronica's enemies dead, or that his next words wouldn't be ones that'd cause her to snap and push him away for good.

But in that moment, they remained unspoken.


	4. Veronica, open the door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finding out that Heather Duke and J.D have teamed up, Veronica takes matters into her own hands.

###  Chapter Four

September 7th, 1989

Dear Diary,

I haven't written in a while, my life has been too chaotic to think, let alone muse. 

Heather Duke has taken Heather Chandler's place like some cursed mythical beast. I cut off the head and a new one grew in its place. She's the new Demon Queen and I swear the grass wilts and flowers die wherever she walks. J.D and I had been in the background, letting things simmer down again, but when an altercation broke out between her and I, his response was far from what I'd expect of the calm boy I've fallen in love with. 

He suggested cutting her wrists and making it look like a suicide.

At this point, I don't believe him when he says it's just a joke. After Kurt and Ram, I've seen how badly jokes can go wrong, and if he's somehow been orchestrating the whole thing then...

I don't know. But what I do know is that it's over between us. I know that seems extreme, but since I've met him, three people have died and they were all associated with being my assailant in some way.

Maybe I would've left it there, maybe I could've talked him back or something - but when I got home, my parents rushed to meet me, talking of confessions and J.D having told them everything.

Apparently I'm suicidal, and that's not a good prelude to the punchline, which was one of my dolls hanging from a makeshift noose. I thought his sense of humour was a little macabre, perhaps that his jokes seemed dark because he's a troubled kid. But this is nothing to laugh about, it might even be a threat. I'm tired of J.D's games, and even more certain now that he actually intended to kill Kurt and Ram.

So let's see how he reacts to a suicide he didn't do himself.

_"VERONICA!" The pure anguish in the way he screamed her name was deeply unsettling, as though he already knew what she'd done, or it pained him deeply for them to be apart. "Veronica, open the door please." She could hear the desperation in his voice, the way he faltered as he stood outside the wooden barricade, wondering how long it'd be before he tried to break it down. "I don't want to fight with you. I love you. I'd give you my life. Veronica, please!" He rested his temple on the door as he sighed deeply. "I wanted to kill you at first, you made me feel emotion and then used it to tear me apart. But I've seen the light now! I know why you pushed me away! They got to you, didn't they? They infected your mind and twisted it. C'mon, Veronica, you see the world like I do! Isn't school so much better now that those toxic people are gone? They needed to die! Please let me in!"_

_As he realised there was no response, he counted down from three but lost his patience and shot the lock. As the door swung open, he saw her. The love of his life, his new reason for existing, cold and lifeless. Hanging from a remorseless thread. "V-Veronica..." He stumbled into the room, falling to his knees as the sight washed over him. A freshet of emotion soaked his cheeks, his whole body trembling fiercely. "N-No..."_

_There was a moment of deluded clarity where he pulled a petition from his coat and began reading it out to her, explaining that Westerburg High had unintentionally signed their own death warrant. But no amount of bittersweet pride was drawing a reaction from the girl, and J.D finally gave up on finding one. He stepped back and drew his softly smoking gun. "I had three bullets in here," he explained quietly. "One for the door, one for you, and one for me. But that was only if all else failed, I never expected you to-" Shaking his head, J.D lifted the gun and shot the sheet that formed Veronica's tether to the ceiling. He caught her in his arms as she fell, holding her close to his pounding heart. "There's no point in sending a message to society if you're not in it any more," he murmured sadly, lifting the muzzle of the gun to rest under his chin._

_"So I'll join you in Heaven, darling."_


	5. Dead girl walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica sees the light as J.D sinks deeper into darkness.

### Chapter Five

**_BANG!_ **

There was a moment of silence as J.D lay frozen on the bed. He remained like that for a few minutes, then his gaze travelled to the fallen gun. Veronica had knocked it from his hold with such force that it'd caused a dint in the wall before clattering to the floor. He'd never felt fear before, not truly. The boy had become numb to the world the second he'd watched his mother leave, his last shreds of innocence wiped away with a wave of her hand before the building had collapsed and reduced her to rubble in its wake. But presently, he felt more alive for wishing to die, terrified of the burning loathing which soaked into his chest and ran down his spine from the 'dead' girl in his arms. "What the FUCK is wrong with you?" she asked in a fierce snarl, her voice incredulous. It was far too strong for someone who'd been starved of air by a noose, but he couldn't analyse that right now. "You want to kill all my enemies, kill me, blow up the school?! That's not right! You're psychotic!"

He would've come up with something sarcastic at that point, aiming to shut her protests down. But that didn't seem like the right thing to do, he was just thankful she was still alive. "Society has been glamorising suicide for so long that people are doing it for fun," he responded softly, "if we made this stand, they'd finally see how wrong that is. They'd look at it, and say, 'There's a school that self-destructed, not because society didn't care, but because that school _was_ society.'" Before she could bite back, he hugged her firmly to his chest and planted a kiss in her hair. "God, I thought I'd lost you..." Veronica squirmed out of his arms, diving for the gun as soon as her feet hit the floor. She gripped the handle and pointed the weapon at his head. "Get out of my house!"

Something about this situation didn't feel right to him. All he'd wanted was to show her a new world, a place free of everything corrupt about humanity. "The only place Heathers and Marthas can get along is in Heaven!" he snapped, standing up slowly from the bed. "You've carved open my heart and now you're leaving me to bleed, that's very cruel, Veronica. But if that's what you want~" With that, he walked over to the window and climbed back out of it, onto the waiting ladder below the ledge. Tears cascaded his cheeks as he reached the ground, though he sealed them firmly away with the rest of his feelings. He'd already constructed a bomb from enough TNT to level a city, let alone a school.

Tomorrow, the students of Westerburg High, would die.

 

_September 8th, 1989_

_Dear diary,_

_Nobody can stop J.D. Not the students, the teachers, or the police. So I guess it's up to me. If he really is planning to set off a bomb, it'd have to be somewhere discreet, somewhere he could rig everything up without being seen._

 

"Miss Flemming, what's under the gym?" Veronica barely let the startled teacher get two words in before she rushed her own question. "The boiler room, why? Veronica, what's going o-" The words fell on deaf ears, she'd already walked away. She made her way to the boiler room and found J.D there, crouched over a collection of pipes with a hint of red peeking through. Still in possession of his gun from last night, she poised it and glared at his back through iced eyes. "Step away from the bomb." A smile lit up his features as he turned to her, hands at chest level in mock surrender. "This little thing? This isn't a bomb. This is just to trigger the packs of thermals in the gym, _those_ are bombs."

No matter what she said or did, he couldn't let her in again. He'd trusted her once and she'd hurt him badly, made him cry so hard he couldn't breathe. He built up the walls that surrounded him so that nobody could get inside, reach his fragile centre and shatter it. It'd taken all his strength to recover from her pushing him away, only to find her seemingly dead upon his attempt of reconciliation. She'd dealt him more agony in the few days they'd shared than he'd experienced in his whole life.

Even so, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of sorrow as he saw the sheer desperation in her eyes. After all he'd done, she still reached out to him. "I wish your mom was still alive, that your dad was better, that grown-ups understood how we feel... how you feel. I wish we'd met before they convinced you life was war-" Veronica's outstretched fingers were so enticing, he wanted to let go of every security and grip her hand so tightly they'd fuse into one. But instead, he sharply turned away and went back to staring at the bomb's steadily ticking timer. "I wish I had more TNT," he muttered quietly.

He wasn't prepared for her to pounce, to try and pin him to the ground.  
He wasn't prepared to slam her head against the wall until she stopped fighting, watching crimson trickle down her face and lips as it dripped wetly onto the concrete floor.

But it happened.

Staggering backwards, Veronica weakly grabbed the gun from where it'd freshly fallen from her fingers. "How do I turn off the bomb?" she demanded urgently, watching as he turned back to her with dull eyes and offered only a middle finger in response. At the end of her tether, she lifted the muzzle and shot his hand, watching him crumple like a paper doll as carmine gushed from the wound and he sank to the ground with a cry. Ripping at his shirt, J.D tried to wrap the wound as he crawled towards her, drawing a silver blade from his blood-soaked coat. Though panic spiked her heart and she lifted the gun once more, he jammed his knife into the bomb and the timer stopped.

She gave him one last look, then turned and fled.


	6. I am damaged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J.D's plans of destruction come to an end.

### Chapter Six

Standing on the stone steps outside, Veronica leaned heavily against the railings while she caught her breath. J.D was probably bleeding to death on the floor still, she didn't need a medical degree to know that he couldn't last long without help. As she wiped the blood from her brow and stared at the sky, a shadow tugged the door open and slipped through. Hugging himself tightly, J.D emerged from the school like an injured raven. He was coated in blood and dust, a sodden shred of cloth utterly failing as his makeshift bandage to wrap the wound left by a missing finger. Descending the stairs, he stood at the bottom and slowly opened the layers to reveal a new set of TNT. It was fastened to his waist, the timer unset.

Veronica gasped and went to run to him, her heart surging with panic and clenching like a vice as the love she'd built for him came flooding back, the boy looked so fragile it brought tears to her eyes. He lifted a hand and halted her in her tracks, offering a warm, genuine smile. "I am damaged, far too damaged... But you're not beyond repair," he stated quietly, glancing up at Westerburg with a broken smile. "You deserve to be here. You can make it better. You've beat me, so... there's only one thing left to do." His trembling fingers drifted down to press the button on the timer, vibrant red numbers displaying fifteen seconds left for J.D to live. He clearly didn't want her to stop him, or maybe he simply didn't want to draw it out any longer.

Maybe he didn't think she _wanted_ to stop him.

"Wait, hold on!" Veronica reached out, her fingers helplessly closing around thin air, praying there was a thread of hope in there to pull him back from the edge. He'd been her knight in shining armour, the no-name kid that'd saved her, that'd made all the bad people go away. All she'd wanted was for him to fight for her, and in truth he'd done that in abundance. The only reason there was a distance between them now, was that he'd tried to kill innocent people. He'd gone too far. Maybe she'd fed that fire, maybe she'd fuelled his twisted ideals until he felt they were justified. It was her own monster that stood beside him now, a chokehold of corruption that bound them both.

 

_14_

She stared into his rich brown eyes, watching as they fell closed.

_13_

His arms outspread as though he was about to take flight.

_12_

Awaiting death, teeth gritted in anticipation for that final moment.

_11_

As he looked down at the timer, he gave a bitter laugh.

_10_

"Maybe it's because I wasn't loved," he giggled airily.

_9_

"Unpopular, that's me."

_8_

But as the seconds trickled away, he met her gaze again.

_7_

"I hope you'll miss me. I worship you. I'll trade my life for yours."

_6_

She wasn't listening, rooted to the spot as she stared at him in horror.

_5_

But something spurred her muscles into action, a shot of adrenaline as she sprinted down the stairs.

_4_

"Veronica, no!" Eyes filled with panic, he gripped her arm and hastily shoved her away.

_3_

"Not this way!" she begged, gripping his lapel as she dragged herself in again.

_2_

"Veronica!" he whimpered, pleading silently, trying his best to detach her.

_1_

She reached down, pressed a hand to his heart and whispered;

 

"Our love is God."


	7. You're the one I choose

###  Chapter Seven

Slowly, Veronica drew her hand away as she buried her face into J.D's shoulder. He still had his eyes scrunched tightly closed, arms firmly around her as he waited for the explosion. But after a moment, she broke the contact between them and stared at the frozen screen as they parted. As she'd moved in to hold him, she'd reached for the middle button of the bomb and pressed it with one hand, comforting him with the other. It'd been a complete guess, either the timer would've stopped or they'd have gone up in smoke together. 

"Veronica-?" J.D watched her with renewed adoration, though confusion was certainly intertwined. "You... risked your life to save me? You know the bomb wouldn't have done any other damage, right? You weren't close enough to get hurt, the school's safe, it was just my own demise you stopped..." He reached for her, fingers outstretched. When she'd offered the same gesture, he'd turned away, he couldn't blame her if she did the same. But she took his hand and held it to her chest, resting the palm over her pounding heart. "You had no hope of redemption, no mercy in you. But to sacrifice yourself for the greater good, that's noble. You wanted the slate clean, it's empty now. War is over, no more fighting. Whether you believe it was for the right reasons or not, you were still willing to end your own life so other people's could continue." 

As he started to speak, she pressed a finger to his lips. "We need to get you fixed up," she told him softly, lightly brushing the loose shreds that bound his injured hand. He was numb inside, simply nodding as she led him to the hospital.

###### Epilogue

A few hours later, J.D's hand was nestled in a crisp clean bandage, all the blood and dirt wiped from his skin and every trace of insanity gone from his mind. The nurses had coated his wound with layers of cotton, but Veronica healed his heart with threads of love, stitching every scrap of stray morality and desolation into place until the void was sealed and he no longer felt empty inside. As he looked at her now, he saw an angel dressed in colours of forgiveness. His own mother had walked willingly into her tomb, his dad too wrapped up in his own web of corruption to notice the son he neglected, yet Veronica saw the monster he'd become and embraced it anyway. 

Maybe high school would never be perfect, but the deaths of Heather, Kurt and Ram seemed to have opened everyone's eyes. It could be Miss Flemming's chaotic onslaught of emotional enforcement that made them act that way, though it genuinely looked as if they realised how corrupted their lives had become, and wanted to work towards bettering themselves. Heather Duke was still the new Mythic Bitch, but she didn't have a gang to back her up any more. She soon faded into the background along with her spotlight. Heather McNamara began spending time with Martha and Veronica instead, forming bonds with J.D too as he found a new outlook on life and decided he didn't care how it played out, as long as his darling was in it.

Sometimes, they could swear that Kurt and Ram sprinted across the pitch yelling motivational things to each other. It occasionally seemed like a tall blonde wearing a red scrunchie would pass through the classroom to make snarky remarks and judge other people. However, they never lingered for long.

Standing up from the steps of Westerburg, Veronica held out her hand to J.D, watching his gaze travel up before meeting her own with measured curiosity. A smile formed on her lips as she felt his fingers close around her own, a firm connection formed between the two. They'd exchanged words of love and promised that there would be no more revenge or bloodshed, and this time he truly meant it. So now, there was only one thing left to say. It rolled from her tongue like silk, accompanied by a lilted giggle.

"Let's go get a slushie."

_The End._

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing anything like this, so I hope you've enjoyed it.
> 
> Thank you for reading. <3
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated! ^-^


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